The Hidden Cost of Being “The Reliable One” at Work
Authored by: Lolita Guarin
“You came just in time,” the doctor said as he reviewed my chart. “If you had waited even one more day, the outcome could have been very different.”
I was lying in a hospital bed after fainting in my kitchen. Years of chronic stress had pushed my body beyond its limits, disrupting my hormones to the point where my system could no longer compensate. What shocked me most wasn’t the diagnosis—it was the realization that I hadn’t seen this coming. I didn’t think of myself as someone in crisis. I was functioning. Working. Showing up. Taking care of responsibilities. I was tired, yes—but being tired had become normal. Stress had blended so seamlessly into my daily life that I no longer recognized it as a warning sign.
When Being Dependable Becomes a Stress Pattern
For many professionals, being “the reliable one” is praised and rewarded. You’re the person others depend on—the one who steps in when things get difficult and carries more than your share. Over time, reliability becomes part of your identity. That was true for me.
I believed that saying yes meant I was capable, committed, and valuable. I ignored my limits, postponed rest, and dismissed physical and emotional symptoms as inconveniences. I told myself I would slow down later—after the next deadline, the next responsibility, the next achievement. But later never comes.
Chronic stress doesn’t always announce itself loudly. It often accumulates quietly, disrupting sleep, hormones, digestion, and emotional regulation long before it forces a collapse. Until one day, the body does what the mind refuses to do—it stops.
Why High Achievers Miss the Warning Signs
Many professionals don’t burn out because they lack discipline or resilience. They burn out because their nervous system has learned to stay in constant alert mode. Being reliable often means being hyper-responsive—to emails, expectations, and unspoken demands.
For some of us, this pattern began long before our careers. Growing up in environments where emotional safety was inconsistent can train us to stay strong, responsible, and self-sufficient as a way to cope. In adulthood, that same survival strategy can drive professional success—while quietly eroding health and well-being. Stress becomes familiar. Exhaustion feels normal. Rest starts to feel optional.
The Boundary Myth
One of the biggest misconceptions about stress management is that boundaries mean doing less or caring less. In reality, boundaries allow you to stay regulated enough to do meaningful work without harming yourself in the process.
Many people struggle with boundaries not because they don’t understand them, but because boundaries feel unsafe. Saying no can trigger guilt. Slowing down can feel like falling behind. Rest can feel undeserved. That’s why managing stress isn’t just about changing schedules. It’s about changing how we relate to responsibility and worth.
The CALM Process: A More Sustainable Way to Work
Through my own healing and years of working with high-achieving professionals, I realized that stress doesn’t disappear with willpower or better time management. It requires a different relationship with how we work, respond, and care for ourselves. That insight led me to develop the CALM Process—a simple framework for preventing burnout.
Control what you can. Focus on what’s actually within your control: priorities, pace, and responses to pressure.
Accept what you can’t. Acknowledging reality as it is prevents stress from compounding through resistance.
Limit what drains you. Burnout often comes from many small drains adding up—constant notifications, unnecessary meetings, and automatic yeses.
Multiply what supports you. Short pauses, moments of quiet, and supportive relationships help regulate the nervous system and build resilience.
The CALM Process isn’t about lowering standards. It’s about creating a way of working that your body and mind can sustain. Check out my website www.BeAmazingYou.com for more resources to help you to manage stress.
Redefining Success
Stress doesn’t disappear as we become more successful—it often increases. The difference between sustainable success and burnout isn’t effort; it’s awareness. Learning to listen to your body, respect your limits, and release the need to prove your worth through over-responsibility changes how stress operates in your life.
The hidden cost of being “the reliable one” is often paid quietly—through health, energy, and emotional well-being. But it doesn’t have to be that way. When reliability is paired with self-respect, it becomes a strength rather than a liability.
Author Byline
Lolita Guarin is a stress management expert, speaker, coach, and six-time Amazon #1 bestselling author. She helps professionals reduce chronic stress and burnout by working with the nervous system and building sustainable habits that support clarity, energy, and well-being.
