This interview is with Nadine Jones, Legal Consultant & Executive Order Expert at GC Support Services.

 

Nadine Jones, Legal Consultant & Executive Order Expert, GC Support Services

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and your journey into motherhood?

My name is Nadine Jones, and I’m a 2003 Howard Law graduate who entered big law in Washington, D.C., right after graduation and remained for approximately 9 years. I left for about 16 months to serve on a congressional antitrust commission and then returned to the firm after the commission concluded its work. I became a mother a bit later than most, at almost 40. I didn’t intend for it to be this way, but I suffered several miscarriages and lost a child who was delivered too soon due to early-onset preeclampsia. For me, motherhood came later. I quickly learned that I would need to hire support, and at one time, I had three nannies: two during the weekdays (8 a.m.-6 p.m. and 6 p.m.-8 p.m.), and a mother’s helper to help me on Saturdays. I barely saw my son! Lol. Anyway, I soon left the law firm for the more stable and predictable hours that in-house legal work provided, and I stayed in corporate for over 12 years, eventually rising to the level of General Counsel. This experience led to the establishment of GC Support Services. My company offers a more flexible schedule and freedom, filling a critical gap for overextended legal departments. We spearhead major legal and compliance projects that internal teams lack the bandwidth to complete, and that traditional outside counsel often approach without the business awareness or cross-functional collaboration that today’s corporate environment demands.

 

How has your experience as a mother shaped your perspective on leadership and personal growth?

Motherhood has shaped my leadership and grown me in many ways, some of which are positive and some not so much. Let’s start with the not-so-good. Motherhood made me less mobile. I couldn’t travel at the drop of a dime, and I definitely couldn’t relocate. So even if relocation, for example, or constant travel meant a promotion and higher pay, I couldn’t do it. I think I would actually be annoyed had I been asked. I would have interpreted it as you don’t even see me. Does that mean employers shouldn’t offer mothers of young children opportunities that involve a lot of travel or relocation? No. Don’t do that. You don’t know their situation, and it’s also probably illegal in most, if not all, states. You can’t use a person’s family status against them.

 

In terms of the good lessons that motherhood teaches: All moms are masters of multitasking. Period. We can also peek around corners to see what’s coming. We are also extremely pragmatic. Patient. We see people. Oftentimes, they are more empathetic. And, yes, I am speaking in absolutes because I don’t know how any mom can mother without these traits. Does that mean women who aren’t mothers lack these traits? Absolutely not. Many women who aren’t mothers possess these traits, but 100% of mothers do. I genuinely believe that.

 

What’s been the most unexpected challenge you’ve faced as a mother, and how did you overcome it?

Two things. I got separated and then divorced soon after the birth of my son. I was a single mom from almost the beginning, hence the need for more stable and predictable hours. The second challenge was that it turns out my son is on the spectrum. He was diagnosed with ADHD, maybe in second grade, but I thought that there was more and that ADHD wasn’t the extent of it. Getting people, including schools, family, and doctors, to really hear me was an experience that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I eventually paid out of pocket for neuropsychologists, CBT/DBT therapists, and the reports that confirmed what I had always suspected. I’ll spare you the details of what I did with that information (I’m still involved in litigation), but suffice to say that my son is in a school environment that’s better suited to his needs and, dare I say, thriving. Training my family as well in terms of what works and doesn’t work with him, even though it runs counter to how they think children should be raised, was/is also a change. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns, but it’s SO much better.

 

Can you share a moment when your role as a mother directly influenced a decision you made in your professional life?

I left the law firm because of motherhood. I only applied for in-house roles with minimal travel. And, even after being hired, I required a significant amount of lead time before I could travel. Also, I had to “staff up,” as one good friend called it. Meaning, as a working mom, you might need to hire babysitters, invest in extended-hour daycares that might cost more, and/or hire after-school nannies, preferably someone with a car, as your child/children get older, so that they can drive them to their after-school curriculum, like swimming, basketball, soccer, football, etc. Finally, please note that any job you take, especially as you advance, will likely require an investment of money. So if they’re offering you $100K, $15K-$20K of that will go to the nanny/au pair/after-school help that you’ll need to do your job. I believe this to be true even if you’re married. Having retired grandparents willing to step in with the childcare needs can reduce those costs. I’m just keeping it 100% folks. This is reality.

 

What strategies have you developed to balance the demands of motherhood with your other responsibilities and personal goals?

I have the most beautiful village, which includes my retired mother, although remember that I had my son older. This means that not only was I older, but also the extended family was older. But thankfully, my mother was, and still is, fit and healthy, and able to step in when I have to travel. I have great neighbors and local area friends, all of whom are part of my village, helping me raise my son. I have since learned to put myself on the list. Self-care is crucial because if you break down, who will care for your child? You MUST carve out time to decompress and do the things that you need to sustain yourself. If that’s a dance class, or mani-pedi, or sip and paint, etc., invest the money in childcare if you need to, or otherwise insist that hubby/spouse allows this time for you to refresh. Also, to the extent it’s possible, work for a boss who will give you a little flexibility. Again, if possible. Having a boss breathing down your neck or being so rigid about you needing to work from home on snow days or staying home with a sick child is the absolute worst. They don’t deserve you, in my opinion. Quietly look for another job or a boss who’s more understanding of unexpected family needs.

 

How has becoming a mother changed your approach to time management and productivity? Do you have any tips for other working parents?

I’m still learning this. I didn’t manage my time well, and I was poor at keeping track of the things I needed to attend to. Some of what I said above was “don’t be like me” advice. You will burn out if you don’t care for yourself. That’s almost as certain as the laws of gravity.

 

Now, depending on the age of your child/children, your time might be 10% you and 90% everyone else (work and family). But you need to be on the care list. As they get older, etc., those ratios might change. I am much more selfish with my time. I do not feel guilty about my “No’s” to those who want my time. It turns out that I need solitude to refresh, so I preserve my morning time for just me and my Bible/prayer. The only things allowed in my space during this time are the dog (if he’s quiet, otherwise I put him out of the room and close the door!) and my steaming cup of coffee. Also, I listen to music that I like. In the car, at home, on Alexa, and so on. It turns out that I like music, and I had lost that, for many years, in the hustle and bustle of life. I have since reclaimed my love of music, much to the chagrin of my son, who doesn’t want to hear “old people” music. Too bad. I’m listening to this.

 

Can you describe a situation where you had to advocate for yourself or your child as a mother? What did you learn from this experience?

Well, I’m suing my son’s school board. So there’s that. I actually can’t say anything more about that. But separate from that, I advocate for my son at his school. I know him the best. I know what he needs to feel safe and supported, and when he has these two things, he learns better and is much more compliant. Being heavy-handed with him doesn’t work. It backfires. He needs connection, to be believed and supported, and then he can receive instruction, direction, even reprimand, better. He needs to know that you are for him. So I let his teachers and administrators know. I am also in continuous dialogue with his school and therapist. You want consistency within the village. You want to reinforce and encourage the same positive behaviors while discouraging the negative ones, and you need to do this consistently across the board. So, constant communication with your village is highly recommended. If you can’t trust them, then that’s your first clue that they are not your village and should not be in your village. But if you trust them, then share the challenges and where you need help with your child, or even help for yourself.

 

Looking ahead, how do you envision motherhood continuing to shape your life and career trajectory? What advice would you give to new or aspiring mothers who are also focused on their personal and professional growth?

As a woman, don’t feel or be condemned if you don’t want children and have never wanted children. We are more than our ovaries. I’ll just put that out there.

 

Also, be mindful of employers who don’t value your personal time because you don’t have children. Sometimes the employer’s thinking is, “Well, why can’t you [FILL IN THE BLANK]? You don’t have kids.” But for those women who do want kids and/or already have kids, I believe that you can have it all. But your path from A to Z might be more circuitous than for men. It might take longer, and the trajectory might not be as direct as a straight arrow to the sky.

 

Be curious and enthusiastic about your field of profession, and don’t apologize for wanting and having a career. That said, be willing to say no to some meetings or projects because the needs at home will take precedence. It’s never 50-50%. Sometimes work gets 70% of your focus (e.g., an intense M&A), your family 20%, and you, hopefully, get to keep 10%. Sometimes, your family will need more, and some things at work can be managed with less of your attention. You still do your job, but you need to focus more on your family. If it’s prolonged, talk to your manager or HR for options (e.g., FMLA, etc.).

 

Thanks for sharing your knowledge and expertise. Is there anything else you’d like to add?

I think that’s it. These questions extracted every bit of advice I had to give. If you want to follow me on LinkedIn, I’m pretty active in posting and always sharing parts of me the person and me the professional.