What is one piece of advice you would give to someone preparing for their first year of marriage? What made this advice particularly impactful for you?

Question

Marriage is a journey that begins with excitement but can quickly present unexpected challenges. This article offers valuable advice for newlyweds, drawing on insights from relationship experts to help couples navigate their first year together. From communication strategies to maintaining romance, these tips provide a solid foundation for a strong and lasting partnership.

Emily Linder · Answer

One piece of advice I often give to couples preparing for their first year of marriage is this: assume good intentions, but don't assume shared meaning. Just because you love each other deeply doesn't mean you interpret situations, emotions, or even the word "clean" in the same way. Early on, it's easy to assume you're on the same page, only to find out you were reading different books entirely.
This advice was particularly impactful in my own life because I learned that many "conflicts" weren't really about disagreement; they were about miscommunication. My partner and I had to learn how to slow things down, clarify what we each meant, and make space for the fact that our brains worked differently. It wasn't personal; it was just patterned.
From a therapist's perspective, this advice helps couples build what I call "relational resilience." You're going to have moments of friction; it's part of learning how to be a team. But when you lead with curiosity instead of assumption, and compassion instead of criticism, you create a foundation where both partners feel safe being human.
Marriage isn't about avoiding conflict; it's about learning how to repair, adapt, and grow together. The first year is full of transitions, but if you can get curious about your differences instead of threatened by them, you're already ahead of the game.

Dan Jurek, M.A., LPC-S, LMFT-S · Answer

After 35 years as a marriage counselor and seeing hundreds of couples, the most impactful advice I give newlyweds is this: tie your boats together before the storm hits. Most couples wait until they're drifting apart to work on their marriage, but successful couples create intentional connection systems from day one.
I use Dr. Jim Dobson's analogy with all my clients—imagine you're both in boats on a lake. Without being intentionally tied together, life's storms (job stress, kids, finances) will push you to opposite sides. The couples who make it are the ones who establish weekly check-ins, shared goals, and conflict resolution skills before they need them.
In my practice, I've seen this play out dramatically. Couples who drift apart often tell me "we just grew apart over the years"—but it's never sudden. The 93% of couples in our programs who see significant improvement are the ones who learn to face storms as one unit instead of two separate people shouting across the lake.
What made this advice particularly impactful for me was watching my campus ministry days at Our Lady of Wisdom—young couples who invested in communication skills and spiritual practices together had dramatically different outcomes than those who just "went with the flow."

Richie Gibson · Answer

Advice for the First Year of Marriage: Never Stop Dating Your Partner
One of the most powerful pieces of advice I'd give to someone entering their first year of marriage is this: never stop dating your partner—especially as life gets busier.
Why This Matters
The early days of a relationship are often filled with excitement, curiosity, and intentional effort. But once the wedding is over and the routines of daily life begin—careers, bills, family obligations—it's easy to slip into autopilot. That's when emotional distance can quietly creep in.
Continuing to "date" your partner means:
• Prioritizing quality time: Carve out moments that are just for the two of you, free from distractions.• Staying curious: Ask questions, explore new experiences together, and keep learning about each other.• Creating anticipation: Plan surprises, dress up for each other, and keep the spark alive.• Reinforcing connection: Regular date nights remind you both why you chose each other in the first place.
Why This Works
This works because it redefines love as a practice, not a feeling. It's not about big gestures - it's about consistency. When couples keep dating each other, they build a relationship that grows with them, not one that gets left behind in the chaos of life.
Even in the busiest of times, a 20-minute walk together, a handwritten note, or a shared laugh over coffee can be more powerful than a fancy getaway. It's the small, intentional acts that keep love alive.

Raffi Bilek · Answer

When you get upset at your spouse about something - DEAL WITH IT LATER. When you are emotionally charged is the worst time to try to deal with an issue in your marriage!
Almost none of the issues you'll face with your spouse will be actual emergencies. Not only CAN they wait until later, but you will have a much better chance of working them out if you wait until later - when you are calm, clear-headed, and ready to actually engage with each other!

Nicole Robins · Answer

The things that I never stop telling couples are that they need to approach everything as a team, especially in their first year of marriage. Never look at adversity as an opportunity to conquer or evade. Collaborate without thinking that you both are opponents because anything can happen.
A wedding is one of the happiest and yet most stressful occasions I have witnessed couples deal with as a wedding planner. The best are the ones who bend towards one another as things change. They keep from being torn apart by pressure. They are keen on learning and helping each other out in both good times and bad times.
The first year is concerned with developing habits. Be truthful in your communication. Be nice even when in a conflict. And above all of this, do not forget why and how you both decided to be together. That is what contributes to making love and keeping it powerful.

Kira Byrd · Answer

A piece of advice that I would offer to one who is moving into the first year of marriage is to communicate with grace, not just honesty. We all say that we want to be honest, but actually, life changes when you learn how to speak the truth without getting upset or irritated with the interlocutor, to be kind and patient, to be ready to listen and understand, not to be heard and understood.
This change was effective in my own marital life. I was accustomed to acting and receiving timely feedback as a businesswoman. However, marriage also made me understand that love is not a transaction but a partnership in which we have to be conscious of ourselves especially when it comes to expressing ourselves. I needed to know how to go slow, listen & speak in a different way, not to draw solutions but build.
What gave this bit of advice its strength was the fact that good communication is not about always getting along on the same side of the road but about making the session or interaction competitive-free, where both parties feel respected and heard. Trust, intimacy, and mutual goals are created on that basis.
It is your first year that makes a difference. Be forgiving to each other, constantly educate each other, and be guided by love at all times.

Joe Hawtin · Answer

One piece of advice I'd give to anyone heading into their first year of marriage? Make open, honest communication your top priority, especially when it comes to expectations and money.
When my partner and I first got married, we didn't realize how differently we thought about spending. That difference led to tension we could have avoided.
Eventually, we sat down together and mapped out our financial goals and habits. That conversation changed the way we worked as a team.
I still remember a moment when a simple budget talk cleared up months of low-key frustration. Suddenly, our priorities aligned.
Transparency isn't just about fixing problems; it's about building trust and staying ahead of issues. It's a bit like planning a trip together. If you can't agree on where you're going or what you'll spend, the whole journey can get messy fast.
So, talk openly. Listen, really listen. Check in with each other often.
Clear communication keeps both people moving forward together.

Gary Daily · Answer

One piece of advice I consistently offer is: "Assume goodwill, even when it's hard." This simple mindset shift creates space for empathy, clarity, and connection—especially when the honeymoon glow starts to dim and daily life kicks in.
Therapists often see couples in distress not because their love is lacking, but because their ability to hold each other in positive regard erodes over time. Starting a marriage with that foundation helps couples navigate conflict with grace and curiosity instead of combativeness. In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing.

Laurel Roberts-Meese · Answer

Marriage and family therapist who recently got married here to answer this - Post-wedding depression is a real phenomenon! After so much buildup and anticipation, the first few weeks and months of marriage can feel like a letdown. Most people report that nothing actually feels different in their relationship; they just threw a big event. There are multiple contributors to post-wedding depression, many of which have to do with identity shift, unrealistic cultural narratives around how marriage is supposed to feel, and perhaps disappointment that marriage didn't magically fix long-standing and normal patterns of conflict or disagreement.

Mateusz Mucha · Answer

Assume good intent. It's easy to fall into the trap of trying to prove a point. However, most of the time, it's not about being right. Instead, it's about staying kind while figuring things out together. This mindset has saved more weekends than I can count.

Advice for the First Year of Marriage

Table of Contents

Advice for the First Year of Marriage

Assume Good Intentions but Not Shared Meaning

Tie Your Boats Together Before Storms Hit

Keep Dating Your Partner After Marriage

Address Issues When Emotions Have Settled

Approach Everything as a Collaborative Team

Communicate with Grace and Patience

Prioritize Open Communication About Money

Assume Goodwill Even in Difficult Times

Prepare for Potential Post-Wedding Blues

Focus on Kindness Over Being Right

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