What's one simple breathing exercise that helps your child calm down when they're upset? How does this exercise work for your child?

Question

Discover effective breathing techniques to help children find calm and balance in their daily lives. This comprehensive guide, backed by expert insights, presents a variety of engaging exercises designed specifically for kids. From playful visualizations to simple counting methods, these strategies offer practical tools for emotional regulation and stress relief.

Ann Krajewski · Answer

As a clinical psychologist working with anxiety for 10 years, I've found the "4-7-8 breath" remarkably effective for children experiencing emotional overwhelm. The technique involves having your child inhale quietly through their nose for 4 seconds, hold their breath for 7 seconds, and exhale completely through their mouth for 8 seconds, making a whooshing sound.
This breathing pattern works by activating the parasympathetic nervous system, helping shift children out of fight-or-flight mode. The extended exhale is particularly powerful as it stimulates the vagus nerve, which helps regulate heart rate and creates a calming effect throughout the body.
I worked with a 9-year-old patient who struggled with intense anxiety before school presentations. We practiced making the exhale fun by pretending to blow out birthday candles or cool down hot soup. This playful approach made the exercise less clinical and more engaging for her.
What makes this technique special is that it can be practiced anywhere without drawing attention. My patients' parents often report that incorporating this breathing exercise into bedtime routines has improved sleep quality, and when used during stressful moments, it helps children recognize they have tools to manage their emotions independently.

Rachael Fritz · Answer

A really effective breathing exercise that can help calm an upset child is one that parents actually practice themselves. When our children are dysregulated, instructing them on how to breathe may not lead to the result we're looking for. Instead, I tell parents to perform their own deep breathing. More often than not, the child will mimic the parent - without any instruction involved. Nervous system science tells us that the best way for a child to transition from a dysregulated state to a regulated one is in the presence of a parent's regulated system.

Zita Chriszto · Answer

One breathing exercise I frequently teach children is "hot cocoa breathing." I tell them to pretend they are holding a warm cup of hot cocoa: First, they slowly breathe through their nose to "smell the chocolate," then softly exhale through the mouth to "cool it down." The visuals that follow make the technique real and enjoyable, spurring continued use. For many of my young clients, it makes an instant difference — they switch from breathing quickly and shallowly to breathing slowly and mindfully. That shift helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which naturally eases the body. With time, children use it even when they start to feel overwhelmed, bringing them back to a sense of control of their emotions.

Holly Gedwed · Answer

As a therapist with 14 years of experience specializing in trauma, I have found that "balloon breathing" works wonders for upset children. Have your child place their hands on their belly, inhale slowly through their nose for 4 counts (feeling their belly expand like a balloon), hold briefly, then exhale through their mouth for 6 counts (feeling the balloon deflate).
This technique activates the parasympathetic nervous system, effectively shifting them out of fight-or-flight mode. I have seen remarkable results with my teenage clients dealing with TBI and ADHD, who initially struggle with emotional regulation but quickly learn to use this tool independently when feeling overwhelmed.
The physical sensation provides a concrete anchor that helps children connect their mind and body - something we specifically focus on in our Mind + Body Connection workshops. The tactile element of feeling their belly rise and fall makes this abstract concept accessible even to younger children or those with attention difficulties.
For consistent results, practice this daily when they are calm so it becomes automatic during distress. I encourage families to make it playful - perhaps by actually holding a balloon while practicing, or creating a special "breathing corner" with comforting items where they can use this technique when needed.

Erinn Everhart · Answer

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist working with teens and families, I've found the "5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Breath" exercise remarkably effective for helping children regulate their emotions. Have your child take a deep breath in while noticing 5 things they can see, then exhale while imagining those things floating away. Continue with 4 things they can hear, 3 things they can touch, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste.
This exercise works by engaging multiple senses while controlling breath, effectively interrupting the anxiety response cycle. The counting element gives their mind something concrete to focus on besides their distress. I've seen this work wonders with my youngest clients who struggle with anxiety before school or during overwhelming transitions.
In my practice at Every Heart Dreams Counseling, I've noticed children as young as 5 can master this technique with practice. One child I worked with struggled with intense meltdowns during homework time, but after practicing this breathing exercise daily, she began using it independently to calm herself before frustration escalated.
What makes this particularly powerful is how it combines mindfulness with physical regulation. The breath serves as an anchor while the sensory awareness brings them into the present moment - this combination activates the parasympathetic nervous system, countering the fight-or-flight response that's often behind a child's emotional outbursts.

Aja Chavez · Answer

Working with teens at Mission Prep, I've had great success with the '4-square breathing' method. In this technique, we trace a square with our finger - up for inhale, across for hold, down for exhale, and across for hold, each for 4 counts. One of my students now draws squares in his notebook whenever he feels overwhelmed in class, and he tells me it helps him refocus without drawing attention to himself.

Logan Jones Psy.D · Answer

As a psychologist who works with high-achievers and their families, I've found the "5-5-5 Reset" breathing technique remarkably effective for children experiencing emotional overwhelm. This involves having the child breathe in for 5 counts, hold for 5 counts, and exhale for 5 counts while visualizing a calming color filling their body.
The physiological mechanism is powerful yet simple - this pattern activates the parasympathetic nervous system, counteracting the fight-or-flight response that floods their system during distress. I've seen this work particularly well in my practice with children of entrepreneurial parents who often absorb ambient stress from their achievement-oriented households.
I recommend creating a physical anchor by having the child place their hand on their belly during the exercise. This tactile connection helps them feel the breath moving through their body, creating a mindfulness component that improves the calming effect. The concrete sensation gives their racing mind something tangible to focus on.
What makes this technique particularly valuable is its portability - it can be practiced anywhere from a classroom to a crowded NYC subway platform. I've had parents report significant success using this technique before tests, performances, or during transitions between activities, which are common trigger points for emotional dysregulation in children.

Lori Leonard · Answer

Being a mental health practitioner for over 30 years, I've found the '5-finger starfish' breathing method incredibly effective, where kids trace around each finger while breathing in and out, creating a natural rhythm. This technique gives them something tactile to focus on while regulating their breath, and I've seen it work particularly well with anxious children who need a concrete way to track their breathing.

Samuel Davis · Answer

When my daughter is feeling particularly frazzled, we employ what we call "flower and candle breathing." I tell her to pretend to hold a flower in one hand and a small candle in the other. She's to breathe in deeply through her nose as though she's smelling the flower, and then breathe out slowly through her mouth, as though she's blowing out the candle. I use this visual cue to help anchor her focus and make the breathing feel playful and not forced.
After a few rounds, her shoulders drop and her tone softens. I've discovered that if you can attach uses of the exercise to a story or an image, it becomes much easier for the young child to participate in the process rather than resist it. It's now something I can count on even when we're on edge.

Michael Merhar · Answer

As a father of twins and an attorney, I have learned the importance of staying calm under pressure, both in the courtroom and at home. One simple breathing exercise that works remarkably well for my children when they are upset is what we call "bubble breathing." I tell them to imagine they are blowing the biggest, slowest bubble they can. They take a deep breath in through the nose for four seconds, hold it for a moment, then gently exhale through pursed lips for six seconds, as if they are slowly blowing a bubble without popping it. We even cup our hands like we are holding a bubble wand to make it more fun.
What makes this effective is that it is simple and visual. It slows their breathing, helps regulate their nervous system, and distracts them just enough to shift out of a reactive emotional state. I have found that the structure and control they gain from this exercise mirror the kind of focused thinking I use in my legal practice. Just as the law requires a calm, methodical approach even in tense situations, this breathing technique helps my kids develop emotional control and self-regulation. It is a small but powerful tool—and frankly, it is one I have found useful myself on occasion after a long day in the office.

Bennett Maxwell · Answer

With my three kids, I've found the 'dragon breath' exercise works wonders. We pretend to be dragons breathing fire by taking a deep breath for 4 counts, holding it while we 'heat up the fire' for 4, then slowly releasing it with a dramatic 'whoosh' for 4 counts. My 6-year-old especially loves this playful approach, and it helps redirect his attention from whatever was upsetting him while naturally slowing his breathing pattern.

11 Breathing Exercises for Kids To Calm Down

Table of Contents

11 Breathing Exercises for Kids To Calm Down

Practice 4-7-8 Breath for Emotional Regulation

Model Deep Breathing for Child Mimicry

Engage with Hot Cocoa Breathing Technique

Use Balloon Breathing to Connect Mind-Body

Apply 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Breath Exercise

Implement 4-Square Breathing for Discreet Calming

Utilize 5-5-5 Reset with Color Visualization

Employ 5-Finger Starfish Method for Anxiety

Try Flower and Candle Breathing Visualization

Introduce Bubble Breathing for Emotional Control

Embrace Dragon Breath Exercise for Playful Calm

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